Role of Wives : Friend? Philosopher? Guide? or All?

|| Swati Bhardwaj ||
Most of the audience would not contest the traditional bread-winning roles of the husband irrespective of their genders. Of late, there has been a trend for the ladies to come in professional domains as Indira Nooyis and Chandra Kochers have proliferated but the statistics is largely skewed towards men.

Despite women coming forward in all walks of life, I can comfortably assert and there are enough sociological studies and findings to corroborate my view that what most wives want, among other things, is for their husbands to take the lead in breadwinning. This doesn’t mean that many women don’t want to work or bring in an income as well, but they want to feel that their husband is providing for them.

Should all the ladies then be mute spectators in the whole process or they should play active roles towards home-making by being a Chanakya to Chandragupta (friend, philosopher & guide) or a Krishna to Arjuna (showing the path).

Life is all about making smart choices in order to survive in this competitive world. What we choose, would depend upon the objective realities and situations of our own lives. Life can be, at times, harsh forcing both spouse to do whatever they can do to provide for their family. But the same is not true for all and not even true all the times for a singular family. Times do change and so should we do to keep up with the changed circumstances.

I strongly feel that marriage redefines as woman’s identity and sooner we realize it the better it is. God has been really kind to make me appreciate the same at a very early stage of the marriage. There was a progressive realization that more than a married woman I needed to be a wife. More than independence I needed to look for interdependence to make things happen……to re-channelize my energies into making a successful marriage by being supportive of husband…..by treating his needs and aspirations with love and compassion……..It was all about honoring the man in my life.

As a lady, we are required to invest in our husband’s career as we know him better than anyone else under this sun and are in a better position to know what his strengths are and what areas he might need help. We are better leveraged in that sense and we must make full and best use of that. However, it should not be conceived as pushing, nagging or controlling. It has to be partnering, coaching, handholding when the times are not conducive…. It has to be about pointing him in the right direction…..it has to be about helping him fulfill his God-given potential to do well at work that would provide him satisfaction and make best use of his talents by are motivating, networking, advising, and practicing good public relations techniques ……..by offering guidance and hands-on assistance based on the unique vantage point of knowing his skills and abilities the best……by balancing his work & rest i.e. supporting him at home, treating him well….by providing him relational advices as ladies pick up more emotional data than men ….and the list is endless…

And it all has an impact and a tremendous one!

It becomes all the more relevant and contextual as today’s corporate world has undergone a tremendous metamorphosis. Gone are the days when as long as the woman made the husband look good, it helped his career. If she was a good homemaker, a good cook, mother and party hostess, then that man was on his way up. A wife’s role in today’s corporate world can range from the traditional homemaker who stays with the children full time; ensures that the meals are prepared before the husband comes home; maintains peace and serenity at home……………to that of a image consultant who advises the husbands on impression management through appearance and gestures etc………..to that of a power broker maintaining right connections and networks; ensuring the right tables at right restaurants at times to make him meet his goals…………….to being a charming socialite and a party host…………….to being a cheerful cheerleader instilling the “can-do” belief and confidence through her praise, encouragement, and smiles.


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